Used versus Loved


While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child’s hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father…..with painful eyes he asked, ‘Dad when will my fingers grow back?’

The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions… sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written ‘LOVE YOU DAD’.

The next day that man committed suicide…

Anger and Love have no limits; choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life…

Things are to be used and people are to be loved, But the problem in today’s world is that, People are used and things are loved…

From So You Want to Get Into Courtship?

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Personal Responsibility


BY Samuel Ng’ang’a Mwangi

Personal responsibility results in increase in the rate of success and decrease in the examination cheating among the students in schools

Introduction

The word personal responsibility is the self-awareness of a person towards the success of ones life. It is also being awareness of the initial goal of one’s life hence doing everything towards one’s own progress, to attain ones initial plan. Different people can define personal responsibility differently but one of the major definitions is that it is an attempt to use own effort to be successful in all that he or she does. The responsible person is the one who can make decisions and face the consequences of those decisions without complaining. One is responsible in life if one can be able to make progress in life by abstaining anything, which might lead astray. Making such decisions needs a strong person whose focus is purely in God and his ability to work through in life without affecting anyone around negatively (Reiss, 2010).

The main aim of the personal responsibility is to be able to show forth and even express the inner most beauty in visible ways, by responding to the issues of life and express your genuine love towards yourself and other people. The main aim of one’s personal responsibility is to ensure that the environment can also benefit from the gift of your appearance in that particular place of the society. Making ones personal responsibility relies majorly on the person who wants to ensure total success in everything they are doing. It also takes one’s self to be able to motivate own self to pursue a goal that seems difficult for people or even which people might neglect due to the vices that they are doing.

Relationship between personal responsibility and college success

There is correlation between personal responsibility of the student and their success in college. This relationship exists because personal responsibility directly affects issues that are pertinent to ones life such as family, education, relationships as well as physical and spiritual well-being of an individual. Personal responsibility determines the success of the student in college for a number of reasons (Charles, 2008).

The first reason is that self-discipline or self-control. Personal responsibility is the ability to be in control of ones life in terms of emotions and actions. Students who do not have personal responsibility concerning their lives are prone to influences of doing what others are doing without proper reasons because they simply shift the blame on others when things do not go as they were expected. This lack of self-control comes about because any individual without a sense of personal responsibility will always be irresponsible. A student without personal responsibility will blame the lecturer for failing in the exam. On the other hands a student who has personal responsibility will not blame the lecture for the failure rather the student will critically analyze the reasons behind his failure and decide that they have a responsibility to pass. This explains why students who have a sense of personal responsibility have higher scores than those without personal responsibility (Bourbon, 1994).

Students who know that their actions affect others are also sensitive to the needs of others. They know when they have hurt someone and they are quick to apologize. If they wrong a teacher, they are likely to apologize. This endears them to both their fellow students and to their teachers. This harmonious coexistence with others because of taking personal responsibility creates inner peace and concentration required by the mind for study purposes. Therefore, a student who has personal responsibility is likely to understand concepts better than a student who is at loggerheads with everyone (Charles, 2008).

Peer pressure a factor that wields huge influence on the college students seems not to have a major effect on students who have a sense of responsibility. Personal responsibility dictates that ones actions have consequences even when acted in a group setting. Drug abuse, which often starts in a group setting, is not likely to affect a student who has a personal responsibility over his actions. This means that students who are personally responsible for their lives are unlikely to be involved in drug abuse, which negatively affects one academic performance (Charles, 2008).

The other factor that makes the student who takes personal responsibility to succeed in college more than those who do not take personal responsibility is that they do not allow circumstances to hinder their progress in life. They have a high sense of self-esteem or self worth, which makes them to confront issues critically rather than emotionally. Students who feel that they are not in control pity themselves when they have issues to deal with in their lives thus affecting their physical health negatively. This may lead to absenteeism from classes and even suicidal cases (Charles, 2008).

Students who are aware of the word personal responsibility also manage to delay gratification. Delay of gratification is simply the ability to deny oneself pleasure in pursuit of a particular goal. Personal responsibility enables the student to stick out or to persevere in pursuit of academic excellence thereby delaying the enjoyment of pleasures, which may affect the concentration, or peace of mind in pursuit of excellence. They delay gratification of pleasures such as drug use, sexual relationships, and hooliganism known to affect student’s academic performance (Bourbon, 1994).

 

A plan to incorporate effective strategies for success as a student

As a student, one should ensure that all the work given does not go to waste by ensuring that all people around you do not copy the assignments but rather do their own work as commanded by the lectures or professors. Copying of other student’s work robs the student competency and the necessary self-confidence required by the jobs as well as circumstances outside college. This will be a great stride in personal responsibility by personally handle one assignment, as it will give the student a chance to assess his mastery of the topic in an honest manner.

One should also ensure that the area surrounding the school is always clean and ready for use by anyone who wants to learn all students can breathe the right air as required by the education policies. Commitment to the environment is imperative in promoting personal responsibility not only over oneself but also on the environment at large (Bourbon, 1994).

One should also have a personal timetable that will assist one to manage time during study hours and to reduce time wastage during other activities. One should also ensure timely completion of the school projects to avoid being at loggerheads with the lecturers. This is because the recognition that time is a resource and that it is precious and it is out of order to waste it is the beginning of personal development (Bourbon, 1994).

There is need of reviewing ones plans and goals now and then for better performance. Goal setting enables one to review their personal progress. Goals also provide a sense of purpose to a student as they focus ones actions and activities towards one major goal. One should break down those goals into daily goals, monthly goals and yearly goals.

Conclusion

Personal responsibility is an important aspect of human life. It is even more important when the student learns personal responsibility early in life. The apathy, accidents, and laziness, which lead to lower standards of living, are preventable if the students learn early in life to exercise responsibility over their own lives. The world would certainly be a better place if the blame games stopped and people took responsibility over their actions. This change can start from the school especially of teachers take as their responsibility to instill a culture of taking responsibility among students.

Performance of college students therefore directly relates to the student’s ability to take personal responsibility over their lives. Although there is no direct correlation between college grades and success in life, there is direct correlation between the ability to take responsibility in life and to succeed elsewhere. One of the best environments to nurture personal responsibility in ones life is in college and students in college should take it upon themselves to ensure that they not only score better grades in life but they have also mastered the art of self responsibility which will propel them to higher heights of life.

 

References

Charles, Chester (2008). Building Classroom Discipline Boston: Pearson Education

Bourbon, Thomas. (1994) Discipline at Home and at School: New York: Brandt

Reiss, Stephen. (2010) what Happened to personal responsibility? Volume 8 Chicago, Journal of Psychology

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LOve Letters 2 LIve BY


One basic definition of love, as a verb is to value. Love should be a verb not a noun or an adverb. Love is an active emotion. It is not static. Love is one of the few expiriences that we can best keep by giving it away. Love is the act of demonstrating value for and looking for the good in the other person.

L – is for Listen. To love someone is to listen unconditionally to his values and needs without prejudice.

O – is for Overlook. To love someone is to overlook the flaws and the faults in favour of looking for the good.

V–  is for Voice. To love someone is to voice your approval of him on a regular basis. There is no substitute for honest encouragement, positive strokes and praise.

E– is for Effort. To love someone is make a constant effort to spend the time, to make the sacrifice, to go the extra mile to show your intrest.

Loving requires independence and is based upon the ability to share ourselves with others out of choice, not out of independent need. True love is that relationship formed by two individuals who have the ability of separately sustaining themselves. Only independent people are free to choose to stay in a relationship. People who are dependent stay in a relationship out of necessity.

Supremacy of Love


Love is that fragile flower of most uncommon beauty. One which can never be found by purpose alone while wandering through life’s gardens. But one whose color and fragrance is most pure and meaningful when discovered by accident while tending to the more mundane duties of the common man. A diamond found lying quietly amongst the broken glass of childhood’s shattered windows.

To love another is the supreme sacrifice of self. For we must give freely and completely of ourselves to another, without reservation or condition. To give less serves only to hinder the growth of our evolution from self sustaining isolation to a greater joining of universal awareness. As children we love by instinct but it is a selfish love. One which results out of necessity, born of helpless reliance on others for survival. It is an innocent love, free of complicated psychosocial encumbrances or expectations. But it is a hungry love which takes much more than it gives in the beginning.

Initially a baby will smile out of some inner pleasure that is imperceptible to others. But very soon, it learns from our reactions to that smile that it possesses a power to influence its surroundings. By repetition and association the child discovers he can gain pleasurable sensations from external sources by the simple act of a smile. The first seed of love is planted when we acknowledge the child’s smile with our own outward expression of pleasure.

“Even a minor event in the life of a child is an event of that child’s world and thus a world event.”

Gaston Bachelard (1884-1962), French philosopher

From that first moment of conscious realization the child understands that to be a recipient of these enticing pleasures he must give of himself. However, growing in close proximity to this freshly planted seed lies another, less tender sprout. A subtle, yet powerful comprehension of the inherent capacity for manipulation. Without being fully aware of it, the child can sense that his own selfish needs can be fulfilled wholly with only a tiny investment on his part. It is almost too easy. And the easiest lessons of life, though not without merit, demand so little of us that we are sometimes blind to the simple fact that we remain responsible for our actions towards other human beings.

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